About opinions and giving your best… (Part I)

A little over a year ago, while having a girl’s night with my friends, my mind got sidetracked from the actual conversation and had the following realization. “There are some topics within the vast array of universal, essential, and transcendental world issues that demand not just an opinion; but a well-thought, informed, deeply reflected eloquent and respectful opinion.”

With some topics, you cannot just wing it. With some topics, reading the latest news, or the trending Facebook article is utterly not enough.

Some topics deserve a higher level of attention, conscious research, mindful personal conclusions. Not because we want to necessarily, influence or convince others of our opinion. But because the topics are so important to us and are so intertwined with our values and purpose, that we absolutely cannot improvise or give half-assed answers.

Feminism is one of those topics for me. That night with my girlfriends, I found myself talking about feminism and giving my honest opinion. It was nothing more than that, it was just my honest opinion at that exact moment. And it felt shallow somehow. If this is such an important topic for me, then it deserves the very best of me.

As part of my 2020 goals, I made a commitment to myself. I would choose my topics, my causes, and give them my best. I started a class a week ago about Feminism and Social Justice.  Another reason is that there is a chapter in my book that touches upon one’s causes and the power of “respectfully disagreeing.”

There are topics where I do not want to just opine, suggest, or remark. There are topics where I want to enrich, contribute, and act.

What are the topics that deserve your best? What are your causes?

Em’s Extras January 17th, 2020.

Recently one of my best and wisest friends shared with me her daily affirmations. I am a note-taker by heart, and I love quotes. I am always noting down words or phrases that inspire me or underlining sentences in books. I have been doing this since forever but never with a further intention other than perhaps momentarily inspiration.

Her beautiful, color-coded, plastered cards inspired me this week to do my collection of affirmations with extra-intention. I stole with pride some of hers and added others.

I am sharing with you this week, my daily affirmations. They are serving as an extra-kind reminder to enjoy this journey, to work hard and to kick self-doubt’s ass.

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.” Jennifer Lee

“Mindfulness, being present, without judgement, in every moment.” Unknown

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Who are you is defined by what you are willing to struggle for.” Mark Manson

“Porque el utiliza su miedo como motor, y no como freno.” Paulo Coelho.

“Yo creo en los milagros.” My mom.

In need of extra-kind reminders? May this inspire you to work on your own collection.

Wishing you a weekend filled with kindness and intention, M.

“I believe in miracles.”

Letter to a Remarkable Woman

This post is dedicated to all of the remarkable women out there, trying their best. To all of you, who day after day pour your heart and soul to your families, to your friends, to your jobs, and to your dreams. Hope this makes you smile.

Dearest,

Your strength is extraordinary.
Your presence astonishing in so many ways.
When I am standing close to you, I feel lighter, stronger.
I feel amazed.

You go beyond.
You go through.
Exceptional is your middle name.

You mesmerize me.
Thank you for what you did.
Thank you for what you are doing.
I will use admiration until I can find a better word.

Keep giving yourself to us and the rest of the world.
The youer you are, the more fortunate we are.

Love,
M.

My grandmother, Tita. Circa 1960

Winter in Copenhagen is giving me the flow…

Yes, you read that right. Not the flu, the flow. Winter in Copenhagen has what one would call a bad reputation, but so far, it is treating me well. It is treating my book well.

Writing has been flowing in the past few days.
It feels as if I am finally writing at a steady pace.
Words flow, and they are written,
sometimes erased,
but lately, they are always replaced.

Filling my days new with new inspiration, in an attempt to continue this streak. I started an online class on World War II and, on Saturday, I am taking my first improv class.

My wish to you today is that you find some flow, a flow, THE flow in whatever is that you are creating. And that you hold on to it, for dear life.

Thankful and flowing,

M.

Em’s Extras January 3rd, 2020

Sharing 3 extra-interesting things I discovered or re-discovered this first week of the year:

Daniel Habif’s Instagram account: This is mainly for my Spanish-speaking readers, @danielhabif has extra interesting and extra inspirational quotes. He is a writer and public speaker with an extraordinary story.

https://www.instagram.com/danielhabif/

Barack Obama’s Reading List: Go to @barackobama on Instagram to find his 2019 reading recommendations. Perfect for non-fiction lovers. From his list, I added to my list: Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo and Men Without Women by Haruki Murakami.

View this post on Instagram

Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing my annual list of favorites — books, films, and music — with all of you. This has become a fun little tradition for me, and I hope it is for you, too. Because while each of us has plenty that keeps us busy—work and family life, social and volunteer commitments—outlets like literature and art can enhance our day-to-day experiences. They’re the fabric that helps make up a life—the album that lifts us up after a long day, the dog-eared paperback we grab off the shelf to give to a friend, the movie that makes us think and feel in a new way, works that simply help us escape for a bit. To start, here are the books that made the last year a little brighter for me. Most of them came out in 2019, but a few were older ones that were new to me this year. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

A post shared by Barack Obama (@barackobama) on

Admiral McRaven Commencement Speech: this was a re-discovery, one of my favorite motivational speeches of all time. If it catches your attention, listened till the end, the last advice is the best.

Enjoy and let us never ever ring bell. Wishing you a memorable weekend, M.

Keep Calm and Write On! Part 3/3

I woke up extra early on December 30th and wrote down in a fresh new notebook, my 2020 goals.

For the past 5 years, I have listed my goals into these categories: 1) Mental and Spiritual Health, 2) Physical Health, 3) Family 4) Work & Career, 5) Books & Travel.

Even though I absolutely love making lists and crossing out items that are done, I made some changes this year. Now it looks, like an interconnected bubble, all goals lifting and supporting the BIG goal of this year, which is to publish my book. Work & Career has a specific name now: Em and the Shelf and there is a new category, Inspiration which includes all of the inspirational sources: books, travel, museums, classes, etc.,

The way the goals are phrased also changed.

Let me give you an example, one of my health goals last year was to maintain a weight of XXX pounds. This year, my goal is to focus on getting my core and back muscles stronger, as I have back pains constantly. Instead of focusing on a number on the scale, in 2020, my goal encompasses having 20-25 days a month of healthy eating. To me, this means 3 liters of water daily, vitamins, lots of greens, 1-2 carb portions a day, and no wine.

Here is another example, before I would set my book goals something like: read XX number of books per month or read one book per week for 52 weeks. In 2020, my goal is to take more time in carefully selecting my reading list, review every book I read, and share it via Instagram.

2020 is about focusing on my goals but going deeper into the process. 2020 is about taking control but also taking charge, which I have come to believe is not the same thing.

Taking charge of my life, to me, means not just taking control by choosing a specific goal but, the actual commitment to the process that will make that goal a reality. And not just a simple reality. The best possible reality within the framework of the goal.

In 2020 I will keep calm and write on. I will chase all of my goals. But, most importantly, will commit to the process of making those goals a reality. My commitment will have the strongest intent and a profound will.

Let’s be fearless and chase our goals in 2020!

Words fail to describe how thankful I am of YOU reading me, M.

This is the new format. Let me know if you are interested in more examples of how I have changed the phrasing of my goals.

This post dedicated to another M, a true inspiration of goal chasing and commitment.

Em’s Extras December 20th

So sorry I haven’t been consistent with the extras, but the good news is that they are back!

Oprah’s Super Soul Conversation with Paul Coelho: it is so inspirational to hear Paulo Coelho’s journey not only as a writer but also as a person in search of his personal legend. He talks about how he lives life, honoring all the learnings, concepts, and beliefs that are found in The Alchemist. The interview is divided into two parts, I liked the first one better. Below you can find the Youtube link; you can also find it directly in Spotify.

12 days of Christmas @emandtheshelf Instagram: For the past 7 days, I have been posting a daily review of my favorite books in honor. I will continue to publish one daily until Christmas Eve. If you are working on your Reading List for 2020 or want some extra inspiration for holiday gifts, go to Instagram and take a look!

https://www.instagram.com/emandtheshelf/

The Arrogance of Belonging Concept: I first read this concept a couple of years ago in the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of the International Best Seller: Eat, Pray, Love). It refers to the importance of belonging and how it is necessary to live our most fearless and creative life. Recently found below article, it has extracts from the book and other helpful and interesting information.

on the arrogance of belonging and how to always come home to your truest work

Handwritten Christmas Letter and Cards: Can we please bring back handwritten Christmas letters and cards? Please! Watched A Marriage Story in Netflix yesterday, in one of the scenes, the protagonists read long handwritten letters of all the things they love about each other. Even though in the movie, the context of the letters is kind of sad, I thought, “what a great Christmas present for a loved one.” I may write a couple of long letters this holiday season.

Wishing you a wonderful pre-Christmas weekend,

M.

Keep Calm and Write On! Part 2/3

It’s not that I insist on mostly using Harry Potter references. Sometimes things are just better explained with the poetic metaphors of J.K Rowling.

One of my favorite magical artifacts from the books and movies has always been, the Hogwarts’s Mirror of Erised. This magic mirror shows the user his or her heart’s deepest desire. When Harry used it the first time, he could see his dead parents standing next to him.

J.K Rowling once explained that the happiest man (or woman) on earth would be able to use this mirror like a normal one. He would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.

In the past weeks, there were three times where I felt that if I had The Mirror of Erised with me, it would show me just my reflection in that exact moment. In those three events during November, my magical mirror was a normal one.

During October, I sent 3 invitations to 3 different groups of girlfriends to attend reading parties, my reading parties in November. The idea was to share chapters of my non-fiction book and get their first impressions and feedback. I was lucky enough to share my writing with friends in Barcelona, Mexico, and Honduras, and it was a dream come true.

The reading parties surpassed my expectations, not just because they took it extremely seriously (I love them so much for that!), but because they were so invested. They were so open at sharing their thoughts, so honest at sharing their opposing views. They were direct yet gentle when they told me, “in this chapter you need to dig deeper” or “are you absolutely sure you want to share such a personal anecdote?

The reading parties were filled with hugs, tears, stories, realizations, wine, cheeseboards, pajamas, pictures, questions, more cheese, and many laughs.

The interactions, conversations, and feedback fueled my dream; it was more than just validation, it was a sublime sense of certitude of what the future can look like.

It was an intense “Keep Calm (no matter how hard it gets) and Write on.”

I want to thank my girlfriends, for taking the time, for sharing, and oversharing, for the challenging questions, the feedback but above all for being remarkable life cheerleaders.

This post is dedicated to my fearless girls: A, A, C, C, M, C, G & J.

Keep Calm and Write On! (Part 1/3)

You could say November and December were wordless months; I know I definitely feel this way. As per my last post, the three weeks I spent in Honduras with my family were blissful. Family time is always a gift.

I haven’t written much, but much has happened in the past four weeks. To begin with, I had my very first conversation with an editor! The mom of one of my girlfriend’s works in a publishing house in Chile, and she was kind enough to set up a call with the in-house editor.

As I told the smart and lovely editor lady in my thank you note, it was my first real conversation with someone from the book industry. We did not talk about my book per se, but she did shed light on the publishing process-at least in Latin America. She was very open while sharing the steps and complexities of traditional publishing channels and her own selection process.

Wanted to share the highlights of that conversation:

• Identifying the genre is vital. If the book is too complex to categorize, this becomes a roadblock.
• An author should have clear and consistent answers to the following questions: Why am I writing what I am writing? Where does the voice come from? What moves me? What is the most unique element of my work? Who am I as an author? Who is the reader?
• Transforming oneself from a person to an author is an intimate process that requires extensive reflection and self-criticism.

We also talked about the selection process and how cumbersome it can get. I will try to talk more about it in my next post.

After the call, I felt overwhelmed, to say the least. I knew writing a book and publishing would be hard, but it just feels more real now. I acknowledged the overwhelming feeling and immediately conducted a self-intervention. I told myself a phrase that is often used by one of my (wisest) friends: “Those are situations that Marcela of the future will handle.” The most important thing to do now is write!

I am settling back in my routine in Copenhagen, getting ready to enjoy Christmas while reminding myself every day to: Keep Calm and Write on!

Em’s Extras are coming back this Friday too!

Have a fantastic week ahead, M.

Em’s Extra-ordinary Weeks November 29th

Hola dear readers, I know I have been wordless for a while. It was definitely not on purpose. I came to San Pedro Sula, Honduras (my hometown) almost two weeks ago. In 7 years, this is the longest time I have stayed in a single visit. I wanted to come to have extended quality with my family, to hug my mom, to grieve my grandpa, and to write from home.

I thought my heart needed to write from San Pedro Sula, but I was wrong. My heart and soul both needed to just be in San Pedro Sula. To enjoy my family’s routine, noise, and sometimes chaos. My heart needed to run around the city, to do errands with my mom, and not be glued to my phone. My heart needed to spend time with my sister and look at old pictures of my grandparents. My heart needed my dad sending me flowers and listening to my brother sing from the shower. My heart needed so many things, things I can only find here.

I am staying ten more days; my plans are just to be. To be present and to really be here for the next ten days.

In that spirit, please find my first official holiday wish list for you.

Wishing you all just two things for this holiday season: Family and Mindfulness.

Be there, but really be there;

Observe your mom’s hands and your dad’s wrinkles.

Take your grandparents’ hands.

Listen to every laugh and pay attention.

Not just hug, embrace.

Savor the wine, savor the coffee, but mostly the company.

Take mental pictures to keep them in your heart and mind.

Talk, make conversation, read, and share.

Eat, stay longer at the table, cook, and share again.

Be there, but really be there.  

Happy (almost) December Eve and thanks for reading me, M.

We had Chris-giving yesterday; since I am flying back to Denmark on the 10th. My mom made the perfect turkey. Thanksgiving became one of my favorite holidays while living in the US.